No time for talk, but talk is cheap, but then again time is money, and that means talk should cost something?
Anyhoe, check the updates above for all your retro goodieness.
New updates are posted. Seems like a healthy solid dose across the board. Enjoy.
Things back then, and things back...now?
In ye olde days, game fans had a nice life. Tons of glorious pixel graphic games that one could play to your heart's content with a story to boot. It didn't matter if included crazy russians against allies, a scarecrow that could walk, an evil sorcerer that you can beat by math or a sleeping giant that needs a horn the size of a small car to wake up. They all illustrated illusions of far away lands one could only dream of. Heck, who didn't want to be a scurvy pirate after Monkey Island, dress skeletons with fake teeth and spagetti hair or be a conquistador set out to discover new uncharted lands? As many agree, including the Angry Video Game Nerd, those were the days.
Copies are everywhere. In Isle of the Dead there are more zombies than you can shake a stick at. And mostly you don't even have a stick, and you end up like the picture below.
Of course, success often fuels jealousy, cheap ripoffs and copycats, leaving a trail of up-to-no-good titles that are best forgotten - or even better; never should've been made! One of these is the Isle of the Dead. I mean, have you played that game? It's a horrible attempt at Wolfenstein 3D and R.O.T.T, but set on an island where a mad scientist is doing experiments and zombies roam freely. Heard that one before?
This is not what you want to end up like
Oscar, being a somewhat good title for its time, is sorry to say a blatant shadow of Titus the Fox or any of the blues brothers for that matter. Heck, they even made a ripoff OF a ripoff! "Trolls" ring a bell!? I mean, what the hell? It's like they were running out of ideas and thought, heck lets use the same engine for something different - another platformer!
Actually, no thanks. We're good.
Yeah, you can smile now, you cheap ripoff!
And who don't remember Dungeon Siege II, one of the lousiest sequels to one of the greatest action RPGS mid-Diablo time ever, Dungeon Siege. Well, I do. Even though sporting a decent story, the game itself sucked mainly because of crappy mechanics and uninspiring gameplay. It tried to follow up on some of the modern games at the time, but failed miserably. It felt like an amputated version of Neverwinter Nights - floppy version. After fondly remembering DS 1, I was really looking forward to this game, but got disappointed like a sad kid on christmas eve ...
There were also those trying to feed off well known genres by trying their own approach. A very hard thing to do, mind you. Some managed it, but most fell way hard to the ground. Ever tried "Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess" aka "KULT: The Temple of Flying Saucers"? Not only horribly named, but it's a terrible attempt at trying to do something new in the world of action-rpgs. I mean, I ended up wondering what the fuck they'd been smoking at Exxos when they made this, every thing is so FREAKING WEIRD! It's almost unplayable! What the hell is going on here!? It takes TALENT to confuse and wtf-mind-pwn a player as much as this. I'm totally speechless.
After this game is finished with you, you'll do it yourself. For free
These guys? They triumph the "how the fuck do I play your game?!"-scale.
Basically any popular game in its time had copies. Whacky Wheels had its roots from Super Mario Kart, Body Blows from Street Fighter and Heimdall 2 from HeroQuest. Today, I even discovered two titles seemingly no relationship whatsoever. It's basically luck that I stumbled over EcoQuest and Time Runners 29: The Last Revelation almost use the same background for the very first scene! Don't believe me, check this out:
Though different, you can clearly imagine that Time Runner dude shooting dad in the window.
Even all of these copied from someone else. My point is that unique titles are hard to come by, and once you do, they often have a hard time impressing the player since it's so new and untested. The fact that nowadays most ideas are already taken, abused and overused, makes it almost utopic to believe there can be something completely new. But, hey, we still have Abuse, Rock Band and Trauma Center...
Understand me correctly though; there are many good games based upon or derived from a previous title. Taking examples from the newer era, Mass Effect enjoys massive applause from an audience that grew up with Baldur's Gate and System Shock and things have come a long way since Dune 2. Do one even need to think to find a strategy game that's awesome? Ok, here you go: Command & Conquer, Etherlords, Sim City and "Whatever"-craft. Some even praised the Sacred series as a worthy worthwhile for Diablo 2, a comparison that put water on the RPG-wheel for hungry fans that wanted more.
Running in isometric was so 1990, and everyone was doing it.
I for one, fondly remember MathRescue, Loom, Stunt Car Racer and the Settlers 1. Looking back at the games today, for me they showed off some of the most impressive and new stuff in a video game ever, mainly because they did something that was theirs. They were some of the first games I remember playing, and they still kick ass, they most certainly do. Collecting letters for that algebra equation in MathRescue, yeah that's the stuff! But I guess, however, that even I am oblivious to games before my time, simply because I didn't knew any better. There will always be a senior mocking and ranting on the younger ones - just think back at junior high.
And I guess that's how it's forever going to be, until articles like these show up to remind all the kids out there that what you're playing has been done a zillion times before. Even when your granddad was young, humping girls, shoot'em ups was becoming old. Retro never gets old, but the new new isn't what it used to be.
Yes, that something to think about
Have a nice weekend !
Sincerely yours,
-bakkelun